So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He shit in the fireplace
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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