did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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