after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
