I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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