I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize