i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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