haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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