I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
