just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize