the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize