The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
