I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
