Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
