I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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