Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
