she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
