Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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