im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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