Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
