i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize