he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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