well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
