i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
