THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
