The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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