You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
