3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
