its not stalking. its research.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
