that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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