i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
