I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
