Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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