Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize