operation have a gay friend backfired
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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