He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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