No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
