White coat. Heels.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
