i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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