He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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