You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
