You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
