I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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