he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
