i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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