I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
