I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize