i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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