After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
