If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
