So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
