I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
