at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
kristin has been a bad kristin
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
