Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
