So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
