I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
PANTIES FOUND
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