Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
