i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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