bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
