i don't like sucking hair
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
wow bdsm is so cute
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
