My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
