dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
