and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize