i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
