I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
