8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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