Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
