Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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