I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
