the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
