NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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