Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
