Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
