Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All I want is dick and wine.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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