OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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