Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
