Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize