So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
